Back in January I took a leap. I had taken a new job that was higher paid and allegedly more responsibility. Once I got there, it turned out to be not what I expected. I found myself falling into a hopeless state and a mess of anxiety.
I got so tangled up in my head, I ended up going to a therapist to help. I had dealt with anxiety all my life, so it wasn’t just the new job that led to that decision. I had been thinking about talking to someone for honestly about seven years. The job just put me in such a state, I wasn’t able to function.
After about six months at the new job, I decided I had to make a change. I could either continue at this job I hated, or I could take my life into my own hands! I was looking for another job, but nothing had materialized with the salary I was looking for. I had been working on my coaching business on the side for awhile and had some money saved up. I had been dreaming of just focusing on the business for about two years and I thought ‘Why Not Now??’. So when I came back from Christmas break, I gave my two weeks notice.
I was ecstatic and filled with fear all at the same time. Was I really doing this?? Even though I was filled with uncertainty, I was excited. At the very least, I knew I wouldn’t have to work somewhere that was making me miserable. I agreed with my husband I would give it six months and if it didn’t work out, I would go back to working a full time job.
All being said, I lasted about two! It turns out, I didn’t really love not having a steady paycheck and benefits. I still had all the same bills and it was super stressful trying to generate the income to pay them. Another shocking thing that I learned was that I missed working with a team. I am pretty introverted, so I thought being home all day would be perfect. In reality, I was super lonely and found myself counting down the hours until my daughter got home nearly every day.
In February I met with my old boss and he asked me if I could help out with maternity leave coverage. At first, I didn’t think it would be something I wanted because I didn’t want to get sucked back into the Corporate World. I was able to work out doing it part time though, which I thought was a good balance. I could do this for three to four months and still have time to work on my business.
Once I was back in it, I gradually realized how much I missed it. With the break from Corporate, I began to understand I actually just needed a break. I felt great being able to help out my team and the managers. Luckily enough for me a permanent role opened up and I was back to full time in February and a permanent employee with benefits in May!
Do I regret leaving my original job to try a new company? No. I had valid reasons for giving the new role a shot. If I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t know how it was in another industry. Am I disappointed that working totally for myself didn’t work out? Sure! Ultimately I don’t think it’s the right time for me. When I try again, I want to have a ton more money saved and a lot less bills.
That being said, I am so happy I tried it. Now I know, which keeps me from fantasizing about it. I also know that when I am ready to give it another shot, it’s all up to me. I am in control of my decisions. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do what I think is best.
What have you been thinking of doing for a while? Think about what you really want and then take action. You won’t know if it’s right until you go for it. If it doesn’t work out, you can always decide to do something else. Quit thinking of all the reasons why you “can’t” and just go for it!
I would love to hear how you made a decision to take control of your life! Send me your story at firstname.lastname@example.org.